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A humorous look at the role, by Practice Managers themselves

A humorous look at the role, by Practice Managers themselves

We asked a group of Practice Managers what they thought would be a good Christmas present for a newly appointed Practice Manager. Here are some of their suggestions:

The thick skin of a Rhino

The wisdom of Solomon

The patience of Jobe

The speed of Superman

The mathematical brain of Carol Vorderman

The multi-tasking of Microsoft

The legal brain of the Lord Chief Justice (though how this will work with the speed of Superman I cannot begin to think!)

... and, I nearly forgot .... the screwdriver of the electrician, the wrench of the plumber and the brush for sticking up (whatever) .....

A circus juggling course would be good - so he can keep them all in the air without dropping one!! 

No point - whatever you get him he won't have time to use it.

Why not a year's subscription to the First Practice Management website?

A shredder ........?

A magic wand, an extra set of arms and ears, and diplomatic immunity may be a start!

Spanners, WD40, large box of tissues, pair of large stick on ears for listening, a big calculator and larger rubber, diplomatic skills to rival the United Nations, patience of a saint (I keep looking for this but its not available at Sainsbury’s yet), thick skin and broad shoulders, and acceptance that if no one else is doing it, it must be his job.

A large box of tissues for counselling staff, doctors, patients, etc.

A wide selection of hats.

The patience of Job and the wisdom of Solomon.

Extra memory chips with instant recall.

None of which I possess.

A bag of salt for the entrance and car park on icy mornings and a tool kit! Rubber gloves for when he cannot get hold of a plumber to sort out the blocked loo!

A magic wand to help him do miracles, anti-stress bath soak, a large bottle of wine for that Friday feeling and the address of the First Practice Management website!

Probably subscription the First Practice Management website would be useful, no kit can equip anyone for this job as it differs so much from area to area and Practice to Practice.

A good sense of humour, and a 'Do Not Disturb' sign

It would also seem sensible to include a bottle of his favourite tipple - for when the going gets tough! But seriously, what about some general hints and tips about payroll/accounts, the computer system he is using - together with helpdesk numbers, First Practice Management website info., etc.

NHS Alliance membership & First Practice Management website membership which will give him access to all up to date documents/protocols/criteria/employment law etc., what more could he want?

A light fitting- 'cos he'll feel the need to hang himself from it frequently.

Being external to the NHS, when Ii started I needed a dictionary of all the NHS acronyms as everything is shortened to PCT or NPfIT, NPDT, SHA etc. etc. .... it was very useful! Without it I wouldn’t have had a clue ... with it, I could just about keep up!

I would suggest tranquilisers, a thick skin and a sense of humour. Seriously I would have thought a subscription the First Practice Management website.

Hard hat, and elephant hide, Prozac, a book on how to do everything and anything (regardless of whether or not it is in job description or in any way related to the job you are employed to do), 'phone number for the Samaritans, large supply of tissues to issue to weeping staff ..... 

A spare/extra pair of hands, eyes to put in the back of his head, a year's supply of tissues to keep in his room, pair of rubber gloves, a drill and a broom to stick up his posterior so he can sweep the floor as he does his other duties!! 

A year's subscription to the First Practice Management website!! The rest of the kit will then be available online